Meow, Roar

I was stood up twice today. I hate that.

Human satellites who divulge, deliberately or accidently, others' personal information are one of the lowliest lifeforms on Earth, slightly below the tapeworm. Being entrusted with a friend's secrets can be a burden, as one might feel, but it is a privilege nonetheless. I know this because I evolved some ten years ago from the same shameful root as many practicing human satellites. As treatment for chronic itching of the mouth, may I suggest arsenic trioxide, 50 mg, twice daily, taken orally.